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Thursday, March 9, 2023

A Little Milestone

I was thinking about this blog, pondering what to write about, and then realized that I may as well talk a little about what's going on with me/us this week. Which means discussing mental health stuff. And, while I don't want to turn this into a mental health blog, I think it went that direction years ago because...what else do you talk about on your personal blog while having a slow motion mental breakdown?  

In summary. To recap (briefly) the last several years: in mid/late 2019 I/we hit rock bottom and soon after realized "oh hey there's someone in my head who isn't me." Cue finally getting the kind of mental health care I need, and then 2020 was the best year of my life mental health wise. 

Fast forward to this week.

Some headmates finally shared about our hallucinations with our therapist. 

Honestly, one of the strangest things about DID (formerly known as multiple personality disorder) is the denial and dissociation. Formerly denial about even having headmates. And then once we'd (mostly) accepted our DID situation, refusal to acknowledge that some headmates see things that aren't there. I have to wonder what else we/I are still in denial about.

It's kinda hard to keep in denial about something that's been discussed with our therapist, though, which is a fact probably related to why it took so long to properly discuss the hallucinations with our therapist in the first place. (Or anyways, I think that's how it works for us. I admit I could totally be wrong.) 

Someday I'll probably write more about the experience of having hallucinations. Other headmates will likely write on the topic, too, and we might share their writings here. But for now, while various individual headmates are trying to engage with the world again, just sharing the little milestone of telling our therapist "hey...hallucinations are a fact of life for us" is enough.