Sunday, November 13, 2016

Thoughts Since Election Night

This is who my country is?

How was I so blind?

How do we survive this?

I expected harassment of and violence against minorities to increase, but I didn't think it would happen this quickly.*

I've been naive about who my country is, stuck in my Portland bubble.

How do I educate myself to ensure that I better understand the people of my country? 

I know people love dystopians these days, but did we really have to vote to live in one?

Can the Pacific Northwest secede?**

What can we do to ensure that we lose as few rights as possible?

Ok, so Hillary won the popular vote, but that's still a lot of people who voted Trump, which is unsettling.

Can we get rid of the electoral vote finally? Please? This is twice in my lifetime that the candidate who won the majority vote lost the electoral, and so didn't become president, and this is ridiculous.

I'm scared. For myself and others.

I want to go back into the closet.

At least I have that option, some other minorities can't hide what they are.

How many are going back into the closet? And how many will choose not to come out because of this?

No, I can't go back in the closet for a variety of reasons. In fact, it's time to finally walk in the Pride Parade.

This would be a good time to get a bunch of safety pins.***

Aaaand...there Trump goes, saying he won't repeal Obamacare when that was one of his major running points.

Why is everyone so surprised?

Hello, Trump does what's best for Trump, including saying and promising whatever he had to to get elected. Let's just hope that what's best for Trump doesn't fuck us over too much.

I regret having been silent on the topic of politics and the danger Trump poses.

I regret allowing my former significant other to all but silence me on the subject of politics for almost five years.

I regret that I chose silence over the pain of being told by someone -- someone who said that he loved me -- that voting Democrat is an insult to my intelligence. I regret that I chose silence as a way to avoid arguments with him.

I'm tired of being quiet. It's time to speak up.

More thoughts:

*Hate crimes against minorities increased significantly within the twenty-four hours following the election.

**There is actually discussion about this, and while it has a certain appeal I question if it's called for at this point.

***After Brexit safety pins were worn by people as an indication that they are allies of minorities. Some are doing that in the USA now.

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Grilled Cheese and Bacon Sandwich

the sandwich, minus a bite

I've developed my own way of making a grilled cheese sandwich (with optional bacon) and I finally decided to share.

Yeah, this is a simple recipe, and heck it's a grilled cheese sandwich. I think everyone knows how to make it. But I've missed sharing recipes so I figured why not. And I was enjoying the photography side of things a bit too much, so there are also lots of photos along the way.

the ingredients

Precooked bacon
Olive oil
Minced onions
Garlic powder


Apply olive oil to one side of each bread slice using a brush.

each photo will just be showing each step, so I'll stop the captions

Sprinkle a generous amount of garlic onto the bread, but a bit less of the onions and thyme.

Put a pan on the stove and set the temperature to the higher end of medium. Let it warm for a minute or so.

Once the pan is warm put one bread slice in, and add the cheese and bacon. Criss cross the bacon while making sure that you can see through the slices. Add a bit more garlic for good measure.

Confession: I really like garlic. I mean, I really like it. As in, when I get my own kitchen again I want to put a shrine to garlic in the corner of it.

Add more cheese on top of that.

Note: I place bacon in the middle of the cheese, and make sure that it can seep through, because that's a good way to hold the sandwich together once it's done. It's just as yummy whichever way you do it, though.

Finally add the other slice of bread, and flip when browned.

Ta da! Yummy sandwich.

Monday, March 14, 2016


My birthday was a couple days ago, and I wanted to make a video on the day. To keep my thoughts straight I read something to read for it....which is below. The video is here, if anyone wants to see it.

... ... ...

I used to think that my birthdays would never bother me, that I would grow older without being phased by the passing time. And on one hand that's so: I delight in each new white hair I find on my head, enjoying the contrast they make against the dark hair I was born with. But although my age doesn't bother me, I've found that each year around my birthday I wonder what I've done with my life. It's so easy to focus on what I feel are my failures, so perhaps I should take a moment to think about what I've accomplished.

I'm fairly decent at writing, although I haven't been doing much of it lately. Worth mentioning though, in 2009 one of my poems was published in the magazine Cricket.

I'm told that I'm great at photography. And if I may say so myself, I am pretty good at it.

I'm talented at a variety of hand crafts, such as: needlework, spinning yarn, crochet...and more, but I don't feel like listing everything I can do.

I've competed internationally with the Sweet Adeline's chorus Pride of Portland, and in 2009 we took ninth place at internationals in Hawaii.

I'm very close to completing my English degree at Marylhurst University. I spend a lot of time worrying about what a barrier anxiety and depression are in completing my degree, since I'm very aware that I should have graduated by now. But I should probably also remember that it's taken a lot of work to get where I am now.

And, I've always managed to work my way through anxiety and depression. I still struggle, and I'm sure I'll always have my ups and downs, but to have gotten past the really tough times in the past is something.

So maybe, maybe next year, I'll be able to think about all this and my other accomplishments rather than scrutinizing what I haven't succeeded in yet.

A photo of stairs that I took on my birthday