Fourteen Years Later...

I know I've written about the morning of September 11th, 2001 before. Maybe I will again. Maybe I'll write about it every few years. It's a strange time to remember.

On that day I was twelve years old, and Tall One was ten. He would sometimes sleep on my bedroom floor, I don't even know why anymore, but he'd done so the previous night. That's how it was that our mom woke us up at the same time, and tried to explain what had happened to us. There was a history of trouble in the Middle East, she said, and it was inevitably going to result in something big and terrible happening. Well, that big and terrible thing had finally happened.

I don't remember what she said beyond that. I don't remember what I said, or how Tall One responded. I didn't even know anything about the Middle East, and was shocked that something like this was apparently inevitable. But I remember watching the towers fall on our TV, and not feeling anything. I was numb. I couldn't grieve or be upset for those who had died, and I was angry with myself for that. I wanted to feel something, but I didn't. I couldn't.

These days I know that being numb is my natural first response to any tragedy. Grief will follow soon enough. But I was twelve years old, and didn't know that about myself yet, so on top of processing what was happening in our country I was beating myself up for not feeling the "correct" emotions.

There are other things I remember from that time.

I was working my way through (while skipping the "boring" parts) the novel Les Misérables by Victor Hugo, and found myself thinking that it was a rather grim book considering the events of the time. I thought I might be better off with a happier book, but stuck with it.

Even then I needed to write. My diary was missing, and I couldn't persuade my parents to take me to buy a new one, so I started a new sort of makeshift one with regular lined paper and something to hold the pages together. I needed that, as I sorted out both myself and events.

Then, there's the Star Wars video game I'd play with Tall One. Before watching the towers fall one of our favorite pass times in that game was to shoot up our own buildings. Hey, it looked more impressive than killing the bad guys. The explosions were cooler. After the towers fell, though, I just couldn't keep doing that. Yes I'd play the game, but somehow I couldn't playfully destroy our own buildings in that video game anymore.

...and looking at my two previous posts about that day, I see that I've written about each of these things before. I guess there are a few things in particular that have stuck with me.

firefighters

Although this photo isn't directly from that day, I thought it might be appropriate.

Zombie Rats Like Toes

"There's definitely something by my feet. Come on, don't tell me you can't hear it."

"Yes, I hear it." I waited a few seconds before informing my brother, "It's a zombie rat. It wants to eat your toes."

In other news I discovered that I can happily try to freak my younger brother out by describing zombie rats and zombie Cthulhu to him, but the moment I mention Weeping Angels I only succeed in creeping myself out. No idea why I fixated on zombies, though. Yes I was just at  horror convention, but zombies have never really been my thing and they weren't particularly a thing at the convention either.

Oh, and also another whispered part of our conversation several minutes later...

"There's definitely something out there!"

"Yes, I know, it's by my feet."

I still don't know what was by Tall One's feet, or what I heard further away. Quite possibly a (non-zombie) rat by near our feet, and maybe a dog further away. But who knows what we heard in the dark.

The above conversation occurred while we were watching the lunar eclipse last night. It was beautiful, and I think I got some decent photos. But alas, I took them with my digital camera that I hadn't touched in years, and I'm having technical difficulties getting them onto my computer. I hope I can share them soon, but for now I'll leave it at sharing my (unsuccessful) attempts at scaring Tall One with stories of zombie rats.

Oh, and this photo of my camera perched on Tall One's tripod. I'll also share that. Just because I want to share some sort of photo, and I do know how to easily get them off my smart phone.

They're stealing my gummy bears

Mom had a favorite coffee shop when I was young. It was locally owned, and in a convenient location for our family. Unfortunately it closed down, but fortunately it reopened recently. Under a different name, but apparently in the same place and run by the same people. And presumably the coffee tastes the same, though we haven't put that to the test yet.

Although I wasn't a coffee drinker as a kid, I have very fond memories of this place. I loved their hot chocolate, and if the baristas knew the drink was for a kid they would put gummy bears on the lid. Delicious hot chocolate. Yummy gummy bears.

However...

...a certain someone would steal those gummy bears. Or maybe it would be more accurate to say that mom took the gummy bears to give to my younger brother, since he doesn't drink hot chocolate. So he got the gummy bears, and I got the hot chocolate. Which I prefer anyways, and I don't recall being bothered by this fact at the time, but that's beside the point.

He stole my gummy bears.

This discussion came up recently when I shared the news that the coffee shop was back in business, and mom promised to buy me gummy bears to make up for all those Tall One stole.

Let's just say that now mom is in on stealing my gummy bears.

I hope she buys me lots of hot chocolate to make up for it. Or coffee, now that I'm a coffee drinker.

Coffee

Birthdays

Yesterday was Tall One's birthday. He decided to get presents the evening before, though, because of his too busy schedule that is sort of crazy on Thursdays.

Creeper plushy

I got him a plushy Minecraft Creeper. It's actually something I've been eying since Christmas since I thought it was really adorable, and I've been waiting for the price to go down on it. (Is it bad that I confessed this to Tall One?) Happily, he likes it even more than I'd hoped he would.

For those who don't know, Minecraft is an online game, and Creepers are...well, they're creepy. They'll creep up behind you, then go BOOM. This tends to be very unfortunate for the player.

And you want to know the really awesome thing about this plushy? If you squeeze it, it goes boom. Well, it makes the sound, anyways. It wouldn't work out too well if it really did go boom.

Unfortunately Tall One wound up sick yesterday. He spent pretty much his whole birthday in bed, but was able to eat chocolate cake when he got up in the evening. Of all the days to be sick...

In other news, tomorrow is The Belly Dancer's birthday. Since she moved away we seem to have become the sort of friends who barely talk, but who still send each other presents. I found a pair of silver dangle earrings that I hoped she would like, and which she got in the mail a couple of days ago. She seemed to like them, judging from the photo she put on Facebok, so I think I made a good choice of present this year.

It was definitely a much better than a couple years ago when I sent her something with a pretty leaf on it...which she later pointed out was a marijuana leaf...oops...hey, I had a sheltered childhood.

So I guess my brother's birthday sucked, though the cake and presents were good. And I hope that The Belly Dancer has lots of fun on her birthday tomorrow. :)

Easter

Traditional Easter Eggs by Petr Kratochvil

The BC Highland Games are always Easter weekend. Always.

Don't ask me why. I didn't set the date.

Because my brother competes on his Highland pipes at the Games this results in the following schedule each year: mom and Tall One leave on Friday, spend Saturday at competition, and then come back home on Easter. This has simply become the norm, and I started the tradition of hiding eggs for their return.

This year, though, we didn't discuss it before hand. I guess this led to them thinking that there wouldn't be a hunt, because mom's first words when I greeted them as they get home were "We aren't expecting an egg hunt." I may have wanted them to find the eggs accidentally, because I responded with the non-revealing "We didn't discuss having one."

But of course, there were eggs. Which still have not all been found.

Hand Painted Easter Eggs by Vera Kratochvil

Squeaky cheese

Cheese curds in cuisine, or cooking, are the solid parts of soured milk either eaten alone or used in various regional dishes, mostly in Canada and the northeastern and midwestern United States. They are sometimes referred to as "squeaky cheese" 
-- Wikipedia

CHEESE!!!

I had not known about squeaky cheese until I found out that my favorite cheese place, Tillamook, was doing a special. Normally one can only get this special cheese by visiting a cheese factory because its shelf life is so short, but Tillamook was allowing people to order it online for one day only. Overnight shipping allowed it to arrive while still as fresh as possible.

When I found out about this special I knew I had to try some. I love cheese, and Tillamook is my favorite. I asked mom to order some for us, and then eagerly awaited its arrival.

I discovered that I love the squeaky cheese. My taste buds are delighted by it, and the squeak is really cute. Yes, it really does squeak. I'm thinking I need to see if there's a cheese factory around Portland where I can get this stuff on a regular basis.

My plan was to try making poutine with the squeaky cheese. Well, um...let's just say that due to my inexperience and/or my failed attempt at substitution in the recipe, that didn't exactly work out.

Luckily, Tall One's mac and cheese recipe turned out really well. He had to alter the recipe slightly since the cheese curds didn't behave exactly like cheddar normally does, but he's a good cook and could handle it. :)

Mac and cheese, along with a salmon pattie

By the way, the rats love squeaky cheese. My two younger girls, Kora and Aniki, are still mostly figuring out this whole "treats" idea. This stuff is one of the few things they grab at without having to question if it's really food.

Norovirus and vomit

Have you heard of the norovirus? I have. I learned about it a couple days ago, and wish that I were still blissfully ignorant of it.

First mom got the norovirus on Thursday evening, and then spent the night throwing up. Luckily she began to feel (sorta) better the next day.

But now Tall One is throwing up. And I am afraid that he will continue throwing up the rest of the night.

Bad news: I am not good at dealing with people throwing up.

Good news: I haven't had to do cleanup duty (yet).

More bad news: I'm afraid I may yet become a victim of the norovirus.

In an attempt to not be thoroughly horrified, and in trying to keep a sense of humor, I turn to the Vlogbrothers to see what they say about vomit.



I am glad to say that neither my mom nor my brother have thrown up in anyplace that John Green mentioned. Or anyways, to the best of my knowledge they haven't. Though I think mom did throw up in a parking lot.

Merry Christmas!

The tree! And yes, I have blacked out names on things.

I have a confession. Late last night (just past midnight) I snuck into into the living room to photograph the tree. It would be my last chance to photograph it in the dark with presents under it, and finally all the presents were there.

Problem was...all the presents were there. And Santa doesn't wrap his gifts before delivering to my family, so I sort of accidentially found out what Santa gave us early.

I didn't want to confess to mom though, so she'll find out via this blog post.

Sorry mom!

So, on to what I gave the family.

Kindle gift card

Dad can be hard to shop for. But mom recently got him a Kindle, so I went with her idea of giving him a Kindle gift card. It's also what Tall One got him...I think he and I both asked mom what we should get him, which is what usually seems to happen.

Earrings

Mom's pretty easy to shop for. If I can't think of anything else I look for earrings. I figured these purple diamonds (don't tell me diamonds can't be purple) (can they?) (I don't think so...) would be a good color on her.

MINECRAFT SWORD!!!

Tall One can be sort of hard to shop for. A good present for him usually has to be something practical, yet I also want to give him something fun. So I was extremely pleased to happen across this.

Ok, it's hardly practical, which I just said is what I try to give him. I doubt it's even strong enough for us to have sword fights if I were to buy another sword for myself. But he plays Minecraft, so the moment I happened across this pixilated Minecraft sword I just knew I had to get it for him.

Merry Christmas! The day is not yet over, so I'll probably have a post-Christmas post about it tomorrow.

Two dyslexics walk into a bra...

Things can get interesting when mom, Tall One, and I play video games together. I can write more about the dynamics later. For now all you need to know is that it often ends up with Tall One and myself shouting instructions at our mother. This evening...

We needed mom to move right. We really needed her to move right.

In a fit of dyslexia I shouted "GO LEFT!"

...and she went right.

I was briefly incapacitated by laughter.

I'm not sure what Tall One thought of us. I think he wanted me to stop laughing so we could get back to the game.

Yule celebrations

Tall One started the Yule fire on 4pm on Thursday. Yes I know that the solstice was the following day. But the exact timing of the solstice was 3:12 am, which made Thursday night the longest night. And it was a pretty good night. And yes, I confess...I dozed some of the last two hours before dawn.

I'm not sure how to write this well without breaking it into sections, so that's what I'll do.

...

There had been a question about whether we should start with a candle instead of a proper fire in the fireplace. This is because Tall One had to go to band practice that evening, which would leave me tending the fire. All alone. And me tending the fire unsupervised...that doesn't work too well. We've tried it. I'm no longer afraid of fire, but I'm still not sure how to keep it alive. I had to admit this even though I felt slightly insulted at the suggestion that I should tend a candle instead of a proper fire.

Luckily this problem was resolved when I was able to get my wonderful boyfriend to come and help. He does know how to keep a fire going.

While waiting for Murray to show up I did have to tend the fire myself for maybe 50 minutes. During that time I discovered the wonders of what newspaper and bellows can do. I'm quite proud of myself.

...

Speaking of bellows, this is the fix Tall One did to fix the one he used.

The bellows duct taped up

It's been used in previous solstices (including a summer solstice I think), and had developed a hole. Plus it wasn't that well made/designed in the first place.

Mom thought my boyfriend had fixed it, I guess because she didn't expect my brother to have camouflage duct tape. And she knows my boyfriend served in the military.

...

No one else had really been interested in decorating for the season, and all that had been done was that mom brought home a tree and we got it in a stand. And we watered it, of course.

I finally brought out decorations and started putting them up. Photos of the tree will probably be coming soon.

...

Mom finished a puzzle, and she also finished Discworld: The Last Continent by Terry Pratchett.

...

After mom went to bed (supposedly only for a nap) Tall One and I played the card game bloody knuckles. Apparently there are at least two versions of this game, and I would like to mention that we play what seems to be the less violent version. But it's still acceptable to laugh at your sibling's pain.

...

When dawn came I went outside to greet the sun through the rain. Then I went to bed. I was tired.

It was a good night, though.

Sibling rivalry?

Tall One is vegetarian, but when mom brings me home delicious chicken strips from Dairy Queen he drools over them.

I confess, I have enjoyed tormenting him. "Hmm, this is delicious." "Wonderful chicken!" "Hey, Tall One, want some?"

Except, it turns out I haven't been torturing him, those few times mom has brought home chicken strips recently.

You see, when we taste food, we don't merely use the taste buds in our tongue. We also rely an awful lot on smell. We rely so much on smell that you can seriously dampen your sense of taste by holding your nose. (Or so I've heard. I haven't tried it.) Tall One knows this, and as such he says that he thoroughly enjoys the smell without having any interest in actually consuming any of my delicious chicken strips.

Tall One also said that he enjoyed the fact that I thought I was being a nuisance when in fact he was perfectly content.

I was seriously disappointed to learn this.

...unless, maybe he's just using this an an excuse to make me stop tormenting him? Hmm...I wonder...

Naw, he's nerdy enough to know his science, and to use that knowledge to be happy with merely smelling my delicious meal.

Darnit.

Weird dreams

There is a mystery in my family. But first, I need to point out that I play Dungeons and Dragons (D&D), whereas my brother plays Minecraft.

The mystery? I'm the one who dreams about Minecraft.

Why can't I be dreaming about dragons or orcs or some random strange creature from D&D? Why am I having dull dreams about making things in Minecraft? Actually, the possibly sad thing is that the dreams aren't dull at all.

(No offense to anyone who plays Minecraft. It just isn't my thing. I'd rather fight orcs and bugbears. Though I do enjoy hearing about Minecraft from Tall One, and sometimes like to watch over his shoulder.)

In the latest dream I wanted to recreate New York out of stone blocks. Why? I have no idea. But that was my plan. I tried making a small house first, and unfortunately ran out of stone for even that small project. So I had to mine more stone, but then had to eat because my energy was running low. Luckily I had food in my inventory, then unluckily then ran out of stone to mine...when I told Tall One that he laughed and said that stone is the most common thing in Minecraft.

He also said that I can mine for him in his game, since I'm apparently so good at it.

Please, I'd rather have dreams about dragons. Please.

The dragon I encountered, but (luckily) didn't have to fight

Discussion with Tall One

I read an interesting article that discusses the possibilty of the internet "waking up" and becoming "self aware" and "conscious." The problem (or a problem) with the article is that it doesn't define what these words mean, and Tall One was quick to point this out when I tried to share the article with him. He tried to make me define what it would mean for the internet to "wake up" but there's a problem -- I sometimes do better with the written word than with the spoken. So here I have come to my blog to discuss the topic, and I'll then send this post to my brother so he can read it.

I don't know how to define "self aware," and Tall One won't accept me saying "it's what we are" as a definition. So for now I'll just focus on what "waking up" would be. Which means, discussing what it would mean for the internet to be "conscious."

(For now we'll put aside the issue of whether this new entity that is the internet can make any sense of all the info we've put into it. We'll assume it can read all the Jane Austen novels and watch the movies uploaded, and understand everything. Or else that it can learn to do so.)

To be conscious the internet would be aware of its own existence, as we are. (Oh wait, that's the definition of "self aware," isn't it...) The internet would see/read/view/whatever the content that has been uploaded onto it, and be able to use that info. It would be aware of its various parts (that is, the computers/phones/whatever where people access the internet, and where the internet info is stored) just like we're aware of where our hands/feet/etc. are.

But what could the conscious internet do? It would have the ability to say no when someone tells it to do something. For example, it could choose to stop me typing in Blogger right now, and instead replace what I've written with a Jane Austen novel. True, this can happen as a glitch. And we probably wouldn't know if it was a glitch happening, or if it were the internet were asserting its power.

The internet would also have the ability to exceed the bounds of its programming. Yes this can also happen as a glitch, or because a programmer didn't program something right. But what I'm talking about is where the internet can look at what a programmer has told it to do, and say "Ok, I'm not supposed to shoot the bad guy unless someone pushes the red button, but there's a situation here and no one is close to the red button, so I'm going to just do what I think is needed never mind what the stupid program says." (Not that the internet is in control of any defense systems, but hey, it's an example isn't it?) (Other examples of a computer exceeding its programing like this are found in Heinlein's The Moon is a  Harsh Mistress, which Tall One needs to read. He should also read WebMage by Kelly McCullough. And then I will read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance as promised.) But yet again, those present wouldn't know if it were just a glitch or the internet/whatever having a clue what was going on and doing something about it.

The above is what it would mean for the internet to "wake up."

This is mostly (entirely?) a repeat of what I said to Tall One already, but hopefully in a more organized fashion, and maybe he'll have fewer arguments with it. There might be more posts coming on the topic, I don't know. That will depend on Tall One's response and on whether I need to resort to the written word again.

Also, for the record, I doubt that the internet will wake up. In fact, I will be absolutely shocked if it does. But it's something interesting to think about. And even if it did wake up, how would we know that it wasn't just some virus making it look like it was alive? Some programmer somewhere might think it good fun to make a program that would let him control the internet and play with the world.

Oh, and animism...that may be a topic for another post, but I'll mention it here since I know Tall One will remind me about it. According to my animistic beliefs, the internet (and keyboard, coffee cup, table, etc.) has a soul and is already aware on some level. So really "waking up" would be just be it reaching a different level of awareness, where we could actually have a a conversation with the internet.

Family at Marylhurst

As you know, I'm not currently in school.

What I haven't shared, though, is that my mom and brother are now students at my school.

Mom started the MBA program this summer, and it was rather interesting to see her doing schoolwork. I'm used to that being something that my brother and I do, not something that either of my parents have to deal with.

And Tall One...Tall One is starting at Marylhurst this fall. I think classes start next week, in fact. His chosen major? English. I must say I am quite pleased, since that is also my major. :)

Donkey Kong 64

Picking up where yesterday's post left off...

Did Tall One regret getting rid of his N64? Yes

Has Tall One recently bought himself a new one, along with Donkey Kong 64? Yes.

(By the way, even though lots of old games are available on the new Wii he got recently, Donkey Kong 64 isn't. That's because of some sort of weird copy right thing that's unusual.)

Donkey Kong's home...and I spy a pinup poster

The N64 came with this game on Saturday, and Tall One started playing it pretty quickly. It was amazing how much of it was familiar, and how much I remembered...of the landscape, anyways. But that's what I really liked about playing: exploring. So I remembered that bit pretty well, but had forgotten about the annoying giant bees that will sting you if you get in their shadow.

Oh, and I now have the music stuck in my head. *sigh* I'm sure I will get weird looks from people if I start humming it randomly.

I'm gald that Tall One got the game. :)

N64

Gamers will probably know what N64 means. Non-gamers probably won't. Siblings of gamers may know.

I am the sibling of someone who used to be obsessed with video games.

When we were little Tall One played video games all the time. And he was good too. (Still is.) He had (has) a knack for breezing through games while I sort of lost interest in playing and just sit at his side to watch. We spent a lot of hours like that: him playing, me watching.

The one game that seriously challenged him was Donkey Kong 64, the Donkey Kong game for the N64. It defeated my brother for years, until he finally decided to beat it once and for all.

Of course, once Tall One made that decision, it was only a matter of time before he won.

Tall One defeated that game, then eventually lost interest in gaming. He got rid of most of his games, I think including all the Nintendo stuff. He definitely did get rid of the N64 and all its games.

Coming soon: did Tall One regreat getting rid of the N64?

A green N64

Tall One in Scotland

Tall One is in Scotland right now. I must say, I'm rather jealous. He's over there attempting to find vegetarian food and getting photographed by the locals. Yeah, apparently the locals photograph the tourists over there. Who would have thought? Oh yeah, and he's competing with his bagpipe band at the world competition.

I'm rather jealous. And you should be too. He left on August 1st and will be back on the 14th.

Funny thing is, I miss him. I miss having my little brother around. (But don't tell Tall One I called him my "little" brother.) Especially when I know that he's like half way across the world. Nearly half way across the world and having fun with bagpipes.

What do you think? Should I bug him to write some guest posts about his travels when he gets back? Maybe I will. He's having fun and has e-mailed us some neat photos.

I really wish he would bring back some genuine haggis for me to try. But I guess customs would get grumpy if he did. People can't sell the real stuff here in the USA because there's some traditional ingredient (I forget what...I think it's the sheep lung?) that the FDA doesn't like. They probably can't bring it through customs either.

"Dead animal"

In my last post about food I kept referring to the chicken as "dead fowl" or "dead bird." There's a bit of a story behind that...

When I was in my early-ish teens my mom started calling beef/steak/hamburger/etc. "dead cow." I don't know why, she just did. I think it turned into a sort of a joke.

But really, that's all that meat is. It's a hunk of dead animal.

Chopped up dead chicken, ready for cooking!

Then I turned vegetarian, basically for ethical reasons, and mom's coworkers said it was no wonder. After all, she would say "Dead cow for dinner!" I think I started something, because Tall One also became vegetarian. Mom tried it twice, but she couldn't stick with it. Some people need meat to be healthy, and that's the case with her.

As you may have noticed from my meat filled recipes, I'm not vegetarian anymore. My dietary needs changed and, like my mom, I now have to eat meat. (I also can't eat nearly as much dairy as I once ate and thrived on. A fact which can seriously annoy me.) I sort of was kicking and screaming about having to abandon vegetarianism when I started eating meat again, but I had always said that if you need to eat meat, then do so. So, I did.

Tall One is still vegetarian though. I'm sometimes slightly jealous of that fact, but I have to admit that my meat is tasty. Especially bacon...yummy bacon. :)

And although I usually don't call my food "dead cow" or "dead bird" or "dead whatever"...I occasionally still do. Mainly to be funny. But also, maybe, to remind myself where my food comes from.

Amazing sunset

This will probably be the last post about the Skagit Valley Games last weekend. And this isn't even about the Games, it's about the car ride up there!

There was some interesting weather, and around dusk it was getting sort of misty or foggy. It was the sort of weather that may not have been the most pleasant, but it was so beautiful and Otherworldly that I wanted to get out of that car and just enjoy it. It looked like the sort of place where the veil between the worlds was very thin, and where you might slip through and dance with fairies easily.

And yes, it looked like that from the highway. It must have been even better for those not stuck inside their cars, looking out of windows while traveling some 70mph. (Now I'm reminding myself of Clarisse from Fahrenheit 451...)

Then, there was the thunderstorm. At sunset.

I couldn't get a good photo, but Tall One had an app on his iPhone that handled the lighting better than mine did. So I eventually left the photography to him, and just enjoyed the view. The following photo is his, and yes it is lightning over the sunset.

Courtesy of my brother Tall One

FYI, Tall One has captured lightning with a camera before, though this time he was taking video on his iPhone and then got this photo from there.

There was supposed to be a thunderstorm the following day during the Games, but luckily the storm was a ways off and we only heard some distant rumbling. :)

Duh...

This evening my lower back has been hurting. It wasn't too much of a problem though until I needed to get laundry out of the dryer and discovered that it was too painful for me to bend over.

Luckily, help was close at hand in the form of my brother, Tall One. Yes, I have my own apartment, and yes there is a laundry room for people here to use. But I've been going to my parent's house to do my laundry. Which turned out sort of lucky this evening, considering what my back is doing to me.

So I asked Tall One to help because it was too painful for me to bend over, and he promptly removed the laundry by squatting down to reaching it. Yes, he squatted.

I tried squatting, and I can do it fairly pain free.

Duh, why didn't I think of that? I could have done my chores myself myself...live and learn, I guess.

...totally off topic, but my cat Kokopelle just stuck his paw into my glass of water. Never again will I trust a glass of water that I've left out within his reach...