Flying Free and Vlogging

I had a peculiar dream. I was flying in it, which isn't exactly new. I've had flying dreams before, but this is probably the first one where I haven't had limitations...I could fly as high as I wanted, and as far as I wanted. And that was a wonderful feeling.

While flying I was also thinking about my name. About how I'm going by Raine now, and what my name(s) was (were) before. I'm not sure if I ever mentioned it on this blog before, but Sarita never has been my legal name. So it wound up with two sets of people: those who knew my legal name, and those who knew my preferred name.

Those who knew my legal name were people like my health care providers, or people at my credit union. Or, anyone who only knew me through paperwork. Of course I had the option of requesting that they use my preferred name, but would it really get noted down? Would they remember it the next time they went in? They haven't always, and I often didn't bother correcting them simply because I didn't want to be always saying "No it's SARITA." So, my health care providers and others have always called me by a name that I didn't want.

I particularly found it odd when it was my mental health care people calling me by my legal name. Shouldn't they be making me as comfortable as possible, and calling me Sarita? But my psychiatrist was calling me by my legal name the second time I saw him, despite me saying that I prefer Sarita the first time we met, so I just let it go. Because, what was the point?

The confusion between names has even led me to make my signature is illegible. This was the result of an experience I had when I was about eighteen, when a cashier observed that my signature didn't match the name of my debit card but said that he didn't want an explanation. Confused, I explained the reason, and he was pretty relieved. I quickly found out that he'd thought I was using my mom's card, and if I confirmed that for him he would have to refuse that form of payment. Not wanting the same thing to happen with another cashier who wouldn't be so laid back and trusting about it, I decided to change my signature. It now resembles scribbles, which embarrasses me, but it's better than potentially confusing cashiers and being unable to pay for something.

But when my legal name becomes Raine, all that will be past. I'll know what name to give people. My signature can be decipherable without someone thinking I've borrowed my mom's card. And I won't have to be resigned to my doctors and others calling me a name that I don't want. And I was thinking about all this as I flew as high and as far as I wanted in that dream.

In other news, I'm experimenting with vlogging. My first video is as follows.

Name Change Stuff

I started the legal name change process yesterday, and when I realized that those I've talked to about it don't know how the legal name change is done I figured I should share it here. Because yeah, I hadn't known how it's done before now, but I figured that was just me. I didn't realize how many others also didn't know.

And of course, this is particular to the county and state I live in. For all I know, others might do it differently.

There are two times each week when someone wanting a name change goes to an "orientation" in the courthouse. I put "orientation" in quotes because it was really just taking paperwork I'd filled out to a clerk. It's three different pages that all have basically the same info, although one was completed in the courthouse with the exact location and time that the hearing for the name change will take place. Yep, I have to have a hearing.

After learning when/where the hearing will be and sorting out the paperwork stuff, the clerk kept two pieces of my paperwork. I got the one with my hearing info, and posted that along with other name change notices. It will stay posted there until my hearing, and I'll retrieve it on my way to the courtroom.

The last thing I had to do yesterday was pay a fee, which was $111. Now I just wait for the hearing, which is in December. Oh yes, and I also have to fill out more paperwork in the meantime.

I think that the hearing should be as straightforward as yesterday, though hopefully with slightly less getting lost. (Finding the first clerk was easy enough, but then I got lost both finding where to post my notice and pay, and again retracing my steps to leave. I genuinely don't know if the clerk gave me a confusing map or if I'm just easily confused.) Basically I retrieve my posted notice to bring to the hearing, plus other paperwork I have to fill out in the meantime. It will be asked if anyone objects to my name change, and when no one speaks up it will be granted. Then I'll get more paperwork proving my name change...and thus will be the fun process of going to places like my credit union and bank to tell them about the change.

I'll write about the hearing after it's taken place. :)

Raine

The name "Sarita" hasn't quite felt like it fully fit me for some time. I don't know exactly how long I've felt like this, but I think I first said something to my boyfriend a couple years ago. That said, I wasn't in a hurry to change my name. I figured the right name would come along in time, no need to rush things.

I finally stumbled across it when I was looking up gender neutral names.

Raine.

In a way I'm still feeling it out. I'm not in a rush to legally change it, and for now I have both Sarita and Raine alongside each other on my various online profiles. But I have to say, it does feel so good to be called Raine.

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