Mid 20's crises?

I'm 23 now and will turn 24 in three months. I'll be in my mid-20's. That's like a quarter of the way through my life. What have I done with it so far? NOTHING?????

...and that's what was going through my head last night at like 2am. I may finally understand why some people freak out at their birthdays.

Once I calmed down I started realizing that I do have some accomplishments that are worth noting. Such as...

1) Competing with the chorus Pride of Portland for several years.
2) Getting a poem published in magazine Cricket.

...and that's where I start to go blank. What are my accomplishments anyways? I guess I'm good with needle and thread...I know I'm a good writer...um...

But I'm still living with my parents, am unemployed, and I don't actually have a college degree yet despite having attended college for a decent number of years. I blame the latter on my having too fun taking random classes at Portland Community College. Which was a nice education...but it didn't come with any sort of degree.

Maybe I just don't know where I want to go in life? My freaking out was about what I haven't done rather than about where I'm going...but my not having a clear goal (or the fact that I keep finding my clear goals are never what I really want) could be why I feel like I haven't done much so far.

I don't even know what the point of this post is. Other than to say that it's weird to suddenly realize that I'll no longer be in my early 20's, but in my mid-20's.

Glasses

Optical Glasses by George Hodan

I desperately need new glasses. I had known this before, but I could no longer ignore the fact when I found myself completely abandoning my glasses last evening.

It's not that they don't do any good. When I tested my glasses today at work, putting them on and taking them off, I found that they clarified something I was reading from a few feet away. But I think the lower part of my bifocals are completely the wrong prescription by now, and that makes my glasses...weird. Uncomfortable. I'd rather go without, when possible.

The frustrating thing is that I did have an eye doctor appointment scheduled for about a month ago, but the doctor office canceled it about a week in advance. I was supposed to call them back...but I guess I was too irritated to do so.

Most of today has been spent without my glasses, and I don't know how much I'll use them between now and my newly scheduled appointment. I'm actually not even wearing them as I type this.

And now, totally random, but two funny things about my eyes...

Funny thing #1: Even though I do need glasses, I can see fairly ok if I tense up my eyes. Don't ask me to explain what that means, because I can't. Some people get what I mean, others don't. I can't explain it to those who don't. And don't tell me that I don't need glasses since I can do this, because tensing my eyes can lead to headaches. So it's hardly ideal.

Funny thing #2: Aren't eyes supposed to get better as one gets into adulthood, before getting worse as they age? Um, my eyes seem to be getting worse now that I'm in my 20's. I need bifocals now, tensing my eyes doesn't seem to work quite like it used to, and I need new glasses more often. Often enough that my insurance won't cover it properly, since insurance companies say I only need new glasses every two years. Which is true for most people. But not for me. Because my eyes are weird.

Ok, so my eyes changing quickly might not be indicative of them getting worse...but it's a nuisance. And it's only since they've started changing quickly that I've needed bifocals.

...and I guess this is a slightly rambling post. Sorry about that. Maybe it would be better if I broke it into two posts, but I sort of don't feel like doing that.

Anyways, I did finally make a new eye doctor appointment, and it's on my mom's birthday. Over a month from now.

I. Cannot. Wait. I will be counting down the days.

Rambling

I have TMD. Which basically means that I have a problem with my jaw joints, and that I used to sleep with a splint between my teeth to keep myself from damaging them. That's not a joke -- I have two chips in a front tooth from grinding away in my sleep.

 

The awesome thing about this though is that they had to take a mold of my teeth to make a splint special for me. And even though making the mold to make mold wasn't fun (they put stuff in my mouth that made me feel like I was going to suffocate) it's awesome that they sent me home with the molds they used to make the splint.

 

How many people have molds of their teeth?

 

Everything together...upside down...oops...

I am suddenly self conscious of how uneven my teeth are. Oh well.

Purple stuff

 

In addition to the actual mold they had me bite on this line of purple stuff. I guess it was to figure out what my bite is.

 

Top and bottom mold

File this post under weird and random stuff that I'm sharing because I don't have anything better to talk about. I actually got the splint and molds a few months ago, and although the doctor told me to keep using the splint I stopped. I'm also not using my muscle relaxant meds at night anymore. My TMD has improved to where I don't really need them anymore. Now I'm just hoping that it will stay improved, and that nothing will trigger a return of it.

Actually, it would be stress that would trigger a return (as has happened in the past), and it seems that my new coping mechanism is loss of appetite, instead of TMD. I'm honestly not sure which one I prefer. As you might imagine, appetite loss comes with its own set of problems.

And now I'm rambling. But I'll leave my ramblings on here. Because...just because.