Dear Depression:

 Dear Depression,

I've said before that you feel like an old friend. In any case, you are someone who I've gotten to know fairly well, and whose presence I am used to. I expect that I will be familiar with you throughout my life, but I need you to not lean so heavily on me. Your presence I can accept, but I will do my best to fight you if you drag me down. So please, loosen your grip. Make this easy for us.

-Sarita

journal pages

The above is an excerpt from my journal/sketchbook. Oddly enough, writing a note to depression helped me, at least briefly. And yes, I have found myself wanting to describe depression as an old friend before, which is strange considering how painful it is. But I'm also used to it.

On the opposite page is a simple drawing of a person in the far distance flying a kite, which we see up close. (Though I suppose you could see a tiny figure and a giant kite, if you want to.) Not sure if it has any meaning, I kind of just felt like drawing it. Maybe because there isn't much that makes me feel as alive as wind does, and how better for someone with my limited drawing skills to portray wind that with a kite? But I guess that's me reading meaning into it after the fact.

As I've said before, this particular journal is a work in progress. I'll probably add some color behind the letter, and actually fill in the sky with blue at some point.

sleepy bee

On a slightly more cheerful subject, here's a sleepy bee. I found her when I was smelling some flowering mint, and she almost made close acquaintance with my face. (That wasn't the first time I've had a close call, and likely won't be the last.) She looked dead, since she was just sitting on a leaf under the flowers and wasn't moving, but I recently found out that some bees actually sleep on plants. In any case I didn't disturb her, and when I checked back later there wasn't any trace of her. So I'm going to guess that she was asleep.

Fan Mail to QC

I e-mailed the creator of my favorite online comic, Questionable Content, and thought it might be worth sharing what I wrote to him here.

It may be fair to say that I'm a tad bit obsessed with this comic. I have three of the books, signed. I have a Winslow plushie, and I want Pintsize and Yelling Bird plushies as well. Because, well...I'm obsessed. Also, I can't have Winslow without also having Pintsize. The universe isn't supposed to work like that.

.... ... ...

Jeph,

For years I have dealt with an anxiety disorder and depression, and last summer the anxiety in particular came down hard on me. For the first time in my life I had panic attacks, though I don't remember many specifics of what it was like. I can say that it was the most difficult time of my life as I was waiting for a new medication to kick in which I hoped would help (fortunately it did).

There were a few things that gave me something to hang on to while I was waiting to get better, and QC was one of them. It didn't only give me something else to focus on, I actually realized I could relate to Hanners in some unexpected ways that were comforting. In particular, I was able to laugh at myself when I caught myself worrying about not worrying one night, since I could remember Hanners doing that. (It was in Number 801: Like A Fainting Goat.) Remembering that actually helped me calm down.

Even before QC helped me through anxiety, I was very delighted to have found an online comic that's so queer friendly. Being bisexual, it always makes me happy to find stories I love with characters who happen to be queer.

I just wanted to let you know how QC has helped me, and to thank you for making it.

Sarita

Dear Insomnia:

Dear Insomnia:

I loathe you. I really do. I've been lying in bed for a while now, and I need to be at work in seven and a half hours. There's no way I'll get enough sleep now, and that is seriously frustrating.

Please, just leave, and let me get some sleep.

Sincerely,

Tired

ps. Maybe you can take that migraine with you when you leave? Thanks.

. . . . . . .

The above is a letter that I wrote in my head last night. I considered crawling out of bed to jot it down here but didn't. Maybe my writing it now will convince insomnia to leave me alone tonight. Eh, I can hope.

Once I'd had one mug of coffee before work, and two cups of tea at work, I woke up properly. The migraine even seemed disappear entirely in the last hour of work, and luckily it was mild today anyways. I'm honestly not sure how I would have managed if it had been at its worst.

Attn: Awesome Drivers

Dear Awesome Drivers:

Yesterday I published a letter to the Idiot Drivers, so I wanted to also write a letter to you. Your awesomeness has not been overlooked.

When you keep a decent following distance behind me, I notice it and am thankful.

When you use your blinkers, I appreciate it.

When you help others merge, or do anything else that helps us all share the road, that makes me happy.

You're awesome.

Thank you,

A Student Driver

Attn: Idiot Drivers

Dear Idiot Drivers:

I was frustrated enough with you as a pedestrian, but now that I am behind the wheel myself I have even less patience for your idiocy.

First of all, stop tailgating. It's not safe, and it frazzles my nerves. If I have to slow down or stop suddenly, we're both in trouble. I'm a student driver, and even I know that.

Second, I know that I do some stupid things as a student, such as entering parking spaces at totally the wrong angle. But when I try to remedy my mistake, please do not honk at me. I already feel bad enough for failing to squeeze my mom's SUV in between two cars, I don't need you reminding me that I don't quite know what I'm doing.

Anyways, you aren't supposed to use your horn just because you're just ticked off. It's only meant to be used when someone is driving dangerously. Which I wasn't. Believe me, I asked my mom, and she said I was fine. I'm inclined to believe her.

On a totally unrelated topic, I recently read that Portland ranked in the top 200 cities in the USA for unsafe drivers. After being on the road, I can't say that I was very surprised at that.

Sincerely,

A Student Driver

P.S. I would also appreciate it if you use your blinkers. I can't read minds.