A Strange Idea

A few months ago I discovered that one of my fellow students was about to go into surgery for something that could be cancer. (Turns out it wasn't.) It was something she'd been discussing with doctors for some time, but she was pretty private about it until just before the surgery when she would finally get a definite answer.

I never questioned her decision to keep things private for so long, and was amazed to see her apologize on Facebook today for not telling everyone sooner. Apparently some people disapproved of her decision to keep things private for so long and made their displeasure known.

Let me be clear: how someone deals with a medical crises should be about the person having the crises, not those around them. If someone needs support or just wants to be open about things, then telling everyone is awesome. If they need to deal with it privately and only tell one or two close friends or just their family in confidence, then that's also fine. But ultimately, it's about what's best for the one going through the health scare, not what others around them want for themselves.

I guess this bothers me because it reminds me of something that happened to me when I was in my late teens. I'm pretty sure I'd told my friends that I was seeing a doctor to help me manage my ADHD, but I hadn't told them that I was trying a new medication. The first they heard of it was when I asked them "Hey, um, have I seemed depressed and withdrawn in the last month? I have? Uh, I guess it's my new medication...which I will be coming off of immediately. Thanks." By that point I couldn't even keep track of all the meds I'd been on over the years, so why bother mentioning one more medication? I mean, do I need to share every time the doctor gives me cough medicine?

My two closest friends didn't see it that way and were upset that I hadn't told them about the new medication. So not only did I have to deal with the stupid medication making me depressed, I also had to defend myself to my friends when I needed their support.

Think about that. If someone you know has just told you that they're having health problems they need your support, not your criticism. The best thing you can do is ask how you can help them. I hope this idea isn't nearly as strange as it seems to be to some.

Youth

Put this under the category of things I find funny about our culture.

Someone asked me my age the other day, and she seemed surprised at how young I am when I told her I'm twenty-four. Yet when I asked if I seem older, and she was somewhat quick to say that I look young.

I've written before that it seems funny to me for us to be so obsessed with youth, and for gray hair and wrinkles to be bad things. And...and although I want to write about it, I'm not sure what else to say. It just seems sort of sad.

But on a related note, if youth is so prized, why are some waiters so apologetic about wanting to see my ID when I order a drink with my meal? Ok, yeah, sometimes people don't have their ID (or are actually underage) and get irate. It still seems like it ought to be a compliment, considering.

Thus are my random ramblings this evening.

Denim Day 2013

Denim Day

Yesterday I found out about Denim Day when a friend shared this link. It's a little late in the day, but I guess it's not too late to post. Rather than trying to paraphrase what started this, I'll just share a little bit of what Danielle wrote:

In 1999 an Italian Supreme Court overturned the conviction of a 45 year old driving instructor for the rape of his 18 year old student. The reason cited was the girl’s clothing. It was determined that because she wore blue jeans the instructor could not have removed them without assistance, therefore she must have consented.

To protest this ruling, many women wore blue jeans. And to participate in it, you only have to wear blue jeans and talk about how why you're wearing them. Oh yeah, and we're supposed to share photos of ourselves in blue jeans...

...which I wasn't going to do, since I thought that I didn't a good pic to share. Then I remembered the wonderful resource that is Facebook, and found this appropriate one that sort of showcases my jeans (or really my spinning wheel) without showing my face.

Holy jeans and my prized spinning wheel

And, just for the heck of it, here's a YouTube clip that came to mind when I was planning this post. It's also about consent, though it's addressing the point of whether or not she's really "asking for it" rather than the "she's wearing too much for it to be rape" issue.

Manners, people...

I was busy volunteering, and the employee I was working with was doing some cleaning. I don't remember exactly what she was using, I think just some Windex and a rag. We'll call her Lily.

Everything was going fine, until this little old lady stopped Lily and said "You shouldn't be cleaning. Not with the baby." And she gestured towards Lily's tummy. Um...

It's fair to say that I was a bit shocked by the fact that this woman was giving advice based on a false assumption. I was reasonably certain that Lily wasn't pregnant, and this was confirmed when Lily whispered a few seconds later "I'm not pregnant!"

Lily wasn't exactly flattered by this woman's presumption, and I hardly think I need to explain why I think the woman offering her advice was out of line.

I'm still amazed at how much some people will stick their noses into other people's business, though. Why in the world do people do this?

Randomness

I guess I haven't had much to write about here in the last week.

Which is different from what I was going to say at first, which is that I haven't been in a writing mood...but then I realized that I wrote a bit over at my book blog, and that I have a few other ideas for posts there. It's just this blog that where I'm not sure what to write.

Or rather, I have had a few ideas, but got stuck on writing them.

So...writers block?

But I want to write something, anything, for this blog, so I figure I may as well write something even if it's nonsense.

So...what to write?

I have discovered the joys of the Terminator movies. Which is what my last two posts have been about at my book blog. (Yeah, movies on a book blog.) I think I may have a new obsession. I watched the final movie today, and now I want to read the books.

I also finished reading The Dresden Files: Dead Beat by Jim Butcher today. I don't have any more of the series on hand...so I'll either have to either the next several books from my library, or wait until I see my boyfriend again. I'll probably wait until I see my boyfriend. He's been my supplier of them. Or maybe my dealer.

And just to complete the randomness here, a random photo.

Growing Sunflower by Anna Langova

The jar

Last December there was a meme that caught my attention. It suggested writing good things that happen throughout the year on scraps of paper, and putting them in a jar. Then at the end of the year you can look at them and see all the good things that happened in the last year.

I liked this idea. I liked it enough to grab a jar of my own to do this with. But I decided to do it my own way.

Instead of reading the good things on January 1st next year, I will empty the jar out on winter solstice. I have a vague idea of using the good things in the jar for a sort of "good luck" or "happiness" spell for the following year, but I'll have to give that more thought.

I also put some bath salts I made on winter solstice 2011, scented with eucalyptus and fir needles (my favorite combo), in the bottom of the jar. I may put a few other odd things that make me happy in there.

The jar, and Niki is hiding behind it

Have you ever done anything like this, or thought about doing it?

Surprising the delivery guy

People in this household are in the habit of ordering things online. So, even though it's not (usually) a daily occurrence, it's no surprise when a UPS truck pulls up in front of our house.

Of course delivery trucks are big and have their own sound, so I can usually tell that it's not just a neighbor I'm hearing outside. And it just so happens that my bedroom is located towards the front of the house, where I can easily see if the delivery is for us.

This means I can sometimes meet the delivery person at the door before s/he has a chance to knock.

It's always fun to see their surprise. I don't think they're used to people answering the door before they can knock. I admit, their amazement is why I like to do it. It's so fun to see their faces.

Jewellery Box by Anna Langova

This photo has nothing to do with the post. But I couldn't find a relevant pic that I liked, and this was too pretty to ignore.

Money saved

Apologies in advance if I manage to gross anyone out with this post.

I use cloth sanitary pads, and have since 2007. Why? Two reasons, really. One is that it's better for the environment since they don't go in landfills after one use. The other reason is money.

The cloth ones do cost much more money up front. When I did my research last winter they generally cost about $10 per pad. But that's up front. They actually save money over all.

Thinking about this I got curious about the exact savings, and I decided to do a bit of math.

I asked mom how much disposable pads cost, and it's been so long for her  that she couldn't answer immediately. (She's officially an old crone, and has been for a few years.) Mom guesses she spent about $13 or $14 a month on pads for one person, so I decided to do my math for $13.50 a month.

Spending $13.50 a month on disposal pads adds up to $810 over five years.

Whereas the reusable...I probably spent $200 on a set that were supposed to last for five years. (That was the cost for what I consider to be a decent set when I did my research again last December.) And although I've had to throw a couple out, most are still going strong. Those things are quite durable, and should last a while longer.

So that's about $600 saved since I invested in the cloth pads. So far. The savings are increasing the longer they last.

Just think of all the lattes and chocolate I can buy instead for PMS with that money!