CthulhuCon and Zombie Lovecraft

Earrings

The annual horror convention known as CthulhuCon was this previous weekend, and it was a wonderful time. Or I guess I should say that half of it was last weekend, since the film festival part of it won't happen for another few months. But that doesn't change that it was a great time.

There was an art competition, during which I discovered that it can be quite fascinating to watch artists at their work. That actually surprised me. I'm not familiar with all of the artists in the photo below, but on the far right is Liv Rainy-Smith, who I wrote about a couple years ago when I first discovered her wood cuttings. I am still in love with her stuff. I have one of her pieces of a sea serpent (I always think it looks like a dragon) next to my bed.

Artists hard at work.

Speaking of art, I found one particular painting I so wanted to buy. It shows a tentacle reaching up out of the ocean grasping the TARDIS, and the 11th Doctor is sitting on top of that blue box fishing. I love it so much because I could definitely see that scene happening if there was an episode of the Doctor versus Cthulhu. It was a piece done by Lee Moyer, an artist new to me, and I was able to track it down online here.

There were also author readings, panels on subjects related to horror, cool merchandise...I may have gotten a little excitable about earrings, I admit. As evidence, please reference the first photograph showing four different pairs of mostly horror themed earrings which came home with me.

We also had a visit from the H.P. Lovecraft himself, back from the dead. (Ok, it's an actor named Leeman Kessler, but I'm going to pretend that he's a zombie Lovecraft.) In his new life he has had to rethink his means of living, and now specializes in offering advice and making YouTube videos. He's so entertaining that I set out to find a video of his to share.



It was definitely a great weekend. :)

Sleepy Times

The page in question

"I've realized that I've come to regard sleep in the same way that I sometimes view eating: 'Didn't I just do this recently? Do I really have to do it again so soon? There are so many better ways to use my time.' Obviously, this isn't a healthy relationship. So now the question... how do I fix this?"

The above is from my journal/sketchbook, and over the words I drew a moon and stars.

I've struggled with sleep for much of the last year, and it hasn't been the usual insomnia that I sometimes deal with. This time it seems to have been a matter of my circadian rhythm switching to nocturnal, so that it was pretty much impossible for me to get to sleep at anything approaching a reasonable time no matter what my plans for the next day were. Therapy appointment in the morning? I'd go in on a few hours of sleep, if I was lucky. Date day with my boyfriend? I'd fall asleep on him. Class in the afternoon? I'd at least have a bit more sleep for that, thankfully. And when the anxiety was bad I wouldn't even have caffeine to help me stay awake, since anxiety and stimulants are an unpleasant combination.

There have been times of my sleep schedule being pretty normal. But that's not a matter of me using self discipline, it's a matter of my circadian rhythm conveniently resetting itself. It's not something I seem to have control over, which I try not to think about. Currently it's what I want it to be...or so I pretend to myself. In the past week I've been edging towards staying up later again, and waking up in the afternoon. I tell myself I can easily fix it, if I really want to. That's what I tell myself.

A number of things have been contributing to this, I think. Of course there are the anxiety and depression. When I've got anxiety it can be easier to sleep during the day, since the light is comforting and scary things can hide in the dark. Not that I was always aware of this being a reason...it took some thinking to realize it. And with both anxiety and depression it can be unpleasant to be alone with myself, which is pretty unavoidable when I'm sleeping or falling asleep.

Then there's the feeling that I haven't done enough in the day, and that if I stay up just a little longer I can actually do something productive. Or, that sleep is just a nuisance that gets in the way of actually doing things...but would I do anything? No, other than probably spend more time online to keep me out of my head. Hey, it's been dark and scary in there, often enough. Why would I want to be alone with myself?

And for all I know, there could be other things contributing to my sleep problems that I haven't yet identified.

That said, I am better than I was a couple months ago. I just hope that I keep improving, both where my sleep is concerned and in my overall mood.

Fur Babies

I couldn't resist sharing some photos.

Josie was on my bed, and when I lay down next to her we were snuggled up pretty close together. Then as I was fiddling with my phone, Kokopelle decided that he wanted in on the cuddles. And not only did he lay down on top of me, he also got on top of Josie.

Sweet kitten and puppy

Gotta love them.

Ditto

It was difficult to get a good photo, but you can see that he's lying across her rear end. And she just lay there allowing it. I was pretty amazed.

He has also claimed my desk

After some time of my desk (and bedroom...) being really messy I finally did some cleaning. This has resulted in Kokopelle finding my desk a very comfortable place to hang out now, despite there being a perfectly good cat tree next to it. A cat tree which, as it happens, he's sitting on as I write this.

So, yeah, just wanted to share some photos.