Saturday, June 27, 2015

Marriage Equality

Liberty and Justice making out, credit:

Marriage equality. It's too big for my next post to not be about it.

When we got it in Oregon I was surprised at how relieved I felt. After all, yeah I'm bi, but I'm in a long term committed relationship with a man. That being the case, why should I feel such relief? But it turns out that it's really nice to know that the law will treat me the same regardless of my significant other's gender.

And now that we've got marriage equality throughout all the states? I'm delighted. There are a few points I want to address though.

The first point is that I and other bisexuals grit our teeth whenever same sex marriage is called "gay marriage." Yes, gays in all states can now get married. And for them, it is gay marriage. But this is also a big win for bisexuals, many of whom are in same sex relationships, and whose marriages will be no more gay than I am. I know many might say that I and other bisexuals are just getting nit-picky here, but it's a matter of whether our existence is being acknowledged. "Same sex marriage" is very inclusive, whereas "gay marriage" ignores that marriage equality benefits us as well. If you're one of those who call marriage equality "gay marriage," please think about this.

It's a detail that doesn't prevent my good mood, but it is something that needs to be discussed even in the midst of celebration.

Point two is that even while I'm happy and looking at this wonderful reason to celebrate, I remember there's still more work to be done. I'm tired of reading about the murder of trans people just because they're trans, I'm tired of hearing about the suicides of queer youth, I'd prefer for our mental health rates to not be so bad...and there's so much more, but I'll limit myself to listing three things. Basically, we've come a long ways, but there's further still that we need to go. And I think we've proven that we can accomplish a lot if we put our minds to it.


Debra She Who Seeks said...

Tis a grand day in the USA! Yes, "same-sex marriage" is a much more inclusive and accurate term. And the struggle definitely goes on. But for now, celebrate! Such victories don't come around every day, every month or even every year.

Sarita Rucker said...