I consider myself out of the closet. Anyone who pays attention to my online activity knows my sexual orientation. I discuss it on this blog, and I'm definitely out on Facebook. (Though whether all my FB friends pay attention to me I don't know.) So that's pretty easy. But what about "in real life"?
I don't exactly want to randomly tell people I'm not super close to that "Hey, this is totally irrelevant to what we're doing, but I'm bisexual!" There was a guy who did that to another man (incidentally also LGB) I knew, and it came across as creepy. But maybe there's an un-creepy way to just randomly volunteer that info? If so, I'd love to hear.
Usually people guess a person's sexual orientation based on whether they're dating a man or a woman. But that doesn't work with bisexuals. When people hear I have a boyfriend they assume I'm straight. If I were with a woman they'd assume I'm a lesbian. And it would feel just plain awkward and weird to address this unspoken assumption.
Alternately, someone might judge a person's sexual orientation based on their dating history. But even this isn't a reliable indicator for a variety of reasons.
I guess we could wear the bi-pride colors to declare our sexual orientation...but that isn't as helpful to us as wearing rainbow colors is to gays. Even though I have those colors on my phone case, I seriously doubt that anyone has recognized what it means.
So, how to come out "in real life" to people I'm not close to?
I don't know. And it doesn't really bother me.
It doesn't bother me, but when I was discussing the topic of bi-invisibility hurting us it seemed like my confusion on this matter should be addressed. Because there might be a good reason for why we're invisible, and why we tend to be taken for straight or gay: it's easier to just let people jump to assumptions about our sexual orientation than to be constantly explaining "I have a boyfriend, but am actually bisexual."