Saturday, October 27, 2012

Really bisexual?

I was shocked recently to find that a loved one doesn't consider me to be a "real" bisexual since I've never been with a woman. This, despite the loved one acknowledging that I'm attracted to both men and women, and even pointing out hot women in movies to me. Unfortunately, I was too surprised to respond at the time.

Bi pride flag
What I wish I had said is this:

What gender(s) a person has or has not been involved with does not define their sexual orientation.

Many people know that they are straight (or lesbian/gay/etc.) before they start dating. They aren't asexual (unless they really are) and their sexual orientation isn't nonexistent. It's there, and they are straight/lesbian/gay/bisexual/whatever even before they start dating.

There's no reason why a person can't be a real bisexual when they've only dated men before. That's like saying someone isn't really straight because they've never dated. Obviously, people can be straight even before they've dated, kissed, or had sex with someone of the opposite sex. So it only follows that a person can be a real bisexual even when they've only dated one gender.

Since this is an LGBT issue I thought it would be a good topic for my blog. And hopefully I'll find a good opportunity to bring this topic up with the loved one in question soon.

ps. Since my old iPhone case was showing some wear and tear I got a new one with the bi pride colors. Pink, purple, and blue. :)


Debra She Who Seeks said...

You're absolutely right, Sarita. ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!

Sarita Rucker said...


I wonder, maybe the real issue is us having different definitions of what "bisexual" really means...